nothing iteresting. like the sound of my own typing
whoa man.
got stuck in there for a minuite. scary. i thought i was over shit like that but no.
i really hate how unstable i am emotionaly. how unstable every aspect of my life is. how little i
can do about it. all i got is my projects. maybe a friend gets some time to talk. but passed that i
seperated from everything. dont fuck with social media ,dont fuck w people irl. this is purgatory.
there are things i can do. but when in a shitty state of mind you literaly cannot access thoes
things. i try to not get there in the first place. but enevitably i do. it can be difficult to get
out. specially when your left alone surrounded by everthing you hate. hard to find your way out all
on your own. like a baby lost in purgatoy. how are they supposed to know to aim for the light?
im stuck in my skechbook page code. stuck on one of the last things. thats what sent me. not being
able to do what i needed to do.
this gallery is gonna be really cool. i gotta lotta cool stuff to share. presenting the work in this
ui i think is necessary. it is my personal archive. my personal liabrary.
ive been making cardboard boxes. cardboard is such a cool medium. its easy to work and iexpensive. i
love it. i love that you can make functional furniture out of it. it reminds me of when i was a kid
and i made a little house out of sheets of paper and scotch tape tape. i put it in a wagon w a
basket ball and presented it as gifts to my neighbor friend.
sand boxing.
but yea i wanna make some desk organization for all my little tools and supplies and books. so i can
have a place for things and stop living outta boxes. but them desighns are complex so im practicing
with little boxes. i keep getting them outta skew. not good. but thats what the practice is for.
ahhhh!
p.s. autumn is nice.
p.s.s why is ther an n in autmn? why does it look so stupid without it?
Mon/Oct/20/2025
Burned Into My Memory
i want it back.
Mon/Oct/13/2025
Words Said
list of 10 dexterous activities that exude swagger!!!
howdy. howdy howdy. ho.
ive been working on my gallery page. its honest more like a whole other site. i think you can say its a web app.
i fleshed out the local sketchbook page. got all the basic functionality i want in there. that was hard. cuz im
only beginning to code. so i have to go through all the effort of figuring out how to do everthing.
hard work. that was a few days ago, so im comming down off of that. gotta relax a bit before i go at it again.
here it is so far: https://phunk.neocities.org/myArt/myArt
i still have alot to do on that page though. a zoom feature. i want to show the scale of the larger horazontal
sketch books so i gotta make that work. so many little things. its cool though. really awesome that i can realize
my vision.
yea just doing my thing. feels awesome. been working out again too. been to long. been atrophying for a couple of
months now. since ive started coding. one day i saw that my ass got flat and i was like :0. i cannot have that.
so ive been getting back to base line. taking it easy. not tryna be a hard ass or anything. anytime ive ever been a hard
ass i always ate shit for it. hurt my self or made it unenjoyable.
i wanna start running again. cuz the only way to get good legs is by using them. but again i gotta take it easy make
sure my basic routine is established.
this time around i wanna really get into my calithenics. honest i wanna break dance and do all the wirly moves. i like
dancing in general. its just cool. my favorite styles are the ones with a lot of finesse and swagger. honest anything
with finesse and swagger is awesome. here is my list of dexterous activities that exude swagger:
1. technical drawing/ draftmenship
2. break dancing
3. whatever micheal jackson be doing
4. wave dancing
5. robot dancing
6. skatebording
7. fingerboading
8. capoeira
9. i like ju jitsu
10. pencil tricks
ill limit that list to 10 items. because i am sure it is endless.
i wanna do ju jitsu again. if there was ever a sport designed for me bjj is it. i am a very flexible autistic floor person.
its mad fun. i love wrestling. i think about it alot. often i do rolls on the floor announcing ju jitsu ju jitsu over and over. i want
it. the same as i want to play splatoon. but they both cost money that i do not have.
i have hope that if i keep doing my thing that eventually i can eventually be able to do and have things i want. maybe
even eat REAL food! omg wouldt that be something. nutrition. i dream big. but yea i just gotta work it out. do wat i need
ta do. but idk if id ever get even what i need. not any time soon. its not alotta room for people like me to get anything.
theres not much of a market for creativity. correct me if im wrong. pls do. but i dont wanna do anything else so its wat it is.
i guess get in where you fit in or make room.
yea thats it i just wanted to say words.
oh wait! oh wait! i added the dora mouse click sound on some of the btns on the site. so click around!!!
i love the sound makes me smile. this site is pretty influenced by the whole dora internet aesthetic.
unintentional, was in my subconscious . it was my first exposure to the idea of the internet.
Mon/Oct/06/2025
Fri/Oct/03/2025
Bill Bur and Saudi Arabia
another one bites the dust
i was never the biggest fan of bill bur but i did have alot of respect for him. he was one of the few quality commedians of this era.
he was actually funny. but more than anything i admired how he seemed to stay grounded and sane dispite
(if not BECAUSE of) being surrounded by so many delusional idiots. he kept his ability to call people out and speak his truth
within the very cultish, bootlicking echo chamber that is modern comedy culture. i respected him so much for that and it gave me
so much hope.
but he was dancing with the devil and the devil eventually got him.
he sold his soul and undermined his entire career with one bad contract.
he took on the gig to perform for a saudi arabia comedy festival. he is being paid directly by the saudi government. a government
that has committed many many human rights violations. violations he has directly critisized. yet he is still taking the money and
he is doubling down on his involvement. being a total sycophant. it is so disapointing.
i mean this is what happens when the people you surround yourself with are spineless. if you let people like that in they will bring you
down. by the fact that you are the average of your surroundings.
i really want him to take it back. id be willing to give him grace. give him room to pick himself up. but i dont think thats gonna
happen. i think the fact that he took the gig means that he's too far gone. its a shame. it really is. he was one of the last
beacons of hope that this culture had. and now he's completely comprimised.
bill bur sold his soul and there for his autonomy to discuss things. bill bur is nothing without his freedom of speech. so therefore
there is no more bill bur.
i will remember pre-saudi bill bur as a different man than post saudi bill bur. they are fundamentally differnt men.
this is exactly what i am afraid of. why i so adamantly avoid social media. this wide spread demoralisation.
becasue of how one can so easily become a slave to the algorithm (basically neccessary to succeed). and how easily an algorithm slave can twist their
morals in order to appease the algorithm. it is terrifying how much a person can be disolved.
ive seen people ive known my whole life disolve into gelatenous hypocrytical idiots. people that were once sound dignified people
with values and dreams. now they are outrage loving heathens with no point in life other than survival.
this is just what is happening to our society. people devolving, doing stupid and terrible things out of fear and self preservation.
and people like me who keep in touch with themselves are left behind and are treated as enimies because of our unwillingness to degrade
ourselves or others. there simply isnt a place for people like us.
but keeping my self respect is a hill im willing to die on. so i guess im doomed to this pain.
seems very pessimistic and hopeless but i dont think so. im quite sure that is how they want us to feel. so that we can lay down and let
them roll right over us. i think we have more power than they lead us to believe. thats why they feel it so neccessary to make us feel
so hopeless. if we were not a threat they wouldn't have any need to degrade us.
when i say they i mean the powers that be. meaning the people who want so desperately to undermine democracy and human rights. the people
behind project 2025.
there are things we the people can do. sacrifices we can make, some greater than others.
an effort that comes to mind is the effort against ai surveilance in austin tx. an effort spear headed by Louis Rossmann to stop the austin
city council from using ai surveilance to watch its citizens. basically the council wants to allow ai survailance under the guise of
'safety' and they are making it really difficult for people to speak out against it. the technology they want to implement proves to be
inefficient and dangerous. so there intent is evidently not safety. when the council saw that people were organizing to speak
against the cameras they removed the item from the agenda the day before the meeting. with the council 'expecting to bring the item back for
council consideration' in the next month's meeting.
people still showed up to protest against the
issue. some held a peacful protest outside the city council building while others signed up to speak on unrelated items in order to
have a chance to voice their dissent of the ai cameras.
people are coming together and letting the council know that they arent just gonna drop this issue and lit it slide.
worst case senerio is if this protest doesnt stop the ai survailance. at the very least people are bulding solidarity with like minded people.
bulding a stronger voice againt similar human rights issues.
coming together against these issues builds strong communities that can give us a chance at protecting ourselves against tyranny.
wow i had a lot to say.
but yea the world is strange. but its not over or neccessary ending, its just changing.
Thu/Oct/02/2025
Music Page Is Now Availble!
just finnished the music page. check it out!
wow my site is terrible right now.
i am fully aware of how stupid that music page link looks. ik ik. but work me me yall. we'll get some where.
im really proud of that music page. it was trying so hard to figure out how to make a full CRUD page. to have a public page and then an admin page for it where i can manage things. man it was hard. and it took so looong. i got the fundamentals working, but there is still so much to do. so so much. coding is difficult and some tasks can be very unfun and learning can be hard, but its so cool. since ive started coding this website and being apart of the indie web ive been feeling like myself more and more. im so thankful for that. ive even started dreaming again! i always have some thing cool to do now. some to look forward to. and i am now a typing god. way cool.
after the music page im gonna work on the gallery. a portfolio for my art. an archive of all of my art(the stuff i deem worthy to share) and a place to share my future art. thats gonna be a HUGE project. i have so much shit. and im gonna have to scan and photograph shit very systematically. and how do you scan a spiral bound book? how would you even display it. would you have a static image of the spiral and then carefully unwind each page out of the spiral without damaging anything then scan each page, then carefully, without damaging anything, wind the pages, keeping their order, back onto the spiral. that sounds like hell. but fuck man im anal. and there is no way im doing that with out messing some thing up. i'll keep thinking of better ways. cuz i dont want to do that to myself. but if its the best way.
ive already got the nav done. well for the most part. i have this slider for the page nav that needs figuring out.
yea im just building things up right now. its like the super boring and technical part. its gonna take along time before i can kinda just use this site. and a long time before this site is really worth seeing. this site doesnt get much engagement and that fine with me cause i dont really want to show it off rn. id like to establish something solid before i start putting myself out there and interacting with everybody.
but yea. check out the music page. maybe you'll enjoy it there.
i wish there was a way to link to the music. eliminate the friction of people having to look for the music. but that would require alot of links that could brake and i couldnt handle the maintinace. but maybe thats not a bad thing. its funner looking things up yourself.
Sat/Sep/27/2025
Pollo Cholo
its real
first img: very splatoon album cover
the members of pollo cholo. the big one is the guitarist because he's the only one w/ aposable thumbs. his fingers are a bit stubby and floppy
so he doesnt play well. pollo w/ the strap is the drummer he shoots the drums. very percussive. the yellow plaid chicken provides mojo to the band
simply by standing there in that swaggerous stance. he is very neccessary. with out him the music wouldn't do it to you.
Sat/Sep/27/2025
Yellow plaid demo
need to make it tighter but i want to share this. sounds really cool
ive been so lame lately. bad juju not very creative. no will to actually do anything.
it would help if i put myself more to being creative and social. to make it more of a thing, more of a habit to do creative things.
hold myself to little habits. id find the will then. idk its hard.
life is very discouraging. its all clutterd and messy and in order to do even the simplist of things i have
to clean everything outta my way. so naturally just the thought of doing anything hurts.
ive tried so desperately to make things easier to do. ive been tryna be functional since i was 15 cuz i knew it was the only
way out of this hellish white trash exsistance. but i havent had any success.
its the people around me. they undermine me. either because of stupidity or insecurity.
it is infuriating. these are the people that should want the best for me, but they bring me down, refuse to help me, and
undermine my attempts to help myself.
i just cant shake them. i can never get my head above the water. not with them pulling me down whenever i try to get out.
ive tried and ive tried but i havent exhausted every option.
if i want to overcome these people then id need to invest myself into connecting with other people. if i have good relationships with
others then id be able to rid myself of these people and get on with my life. id have the love to fuel me and access
to resorces and opportunites.
the challenge with this is that i dont have really any experience making relationships (typical genz shit). i just dont know how to
build connections. i know i can learn cuz i have been. its just a stupid painful process.
im not employed so i could make it like my job. when i know what i need to do im very determined to execute it.
and i dont have to go outside . this place is a desert anyways, nothin but food service and warehouse workers.
i have a thing against living online. id prefer to be in harmmony w/ my community, but if were in harmmony w/ my community id be ugly, grey,
miserable, and obese (probably be on meth or some?).
so even though its not ideal. the internet is the place to start.
id work on building community. finding things i want to participate in. finding ways to contribute. i can do that. if i did had to work this
is what id do.
it bothers me how much i talk about how miserable my life is. i dont like being so negative all the time. but this is wat it is for me rn.
keeping myself busy with this effort would give me better things to focus on.
hopefully one day this will just be a phase in my life and i can stop complaining about the same stupid shit.
i do know the world is going to shit and the future will be unimaginably painful. but all i want, right now at least, is people.
Sun/Aug/31/2025
Sat/Aug/23/2025
Blue Sky Sun Rise
enjoy the music while you read
think im gonna change the title from wupple bou to blue sky sun rise. because the song is the feeling of waking up early
ready for a good day. whith a heart full of hope.
it reminds me alot of Khalids first album 'American Teen'
and of my two favorite Conan Gray songs 'Idle Town' and 'The Other Side'.
reminds me when life was about spending time with your friends. and as bad as things were you still had your friends.
but now with the pressures of this declining society theres never the time or the energy.
which really sucks cuz i dont wanna be alone its just either id be harmful to associate or its just not possible.
its hell. gawd its such a bitch. why. what'd the babies do to you. UUUGHHH
yea conan grey and khalid were late middle school. kali uchis, tyler the creator. hanging out everyday after school. 100% of the summer.
i really love this music especially becasue they werent so different from me.
Conan and Khalid were only a few years older than me and theyr both from texas.
khalid was from el paso and naturally into custom cars. i actually studied autobody in HS with the hope that i could one day do
restorations and build customs so i had respect.
conan lived only a few towns over. i knew a girl who knew him. he was totally my hero back then. honestly one of the biggest influences of
my life.
to this day i still live by the idea of being as cool as you possibly can be.(be cool with yourself)
i dont care about what either of them are doing now becasue form what ive seen theyve been hallowed out by the music industry and
have been disconnected from the root of their greatness. its a pitty. but niggas gotta eat. so monkey better dance.
bruh it so goooood :'( waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa waaaaa i cry like a baby. wa.
NTS live online radio. i discovered it via this wonderful youtube video:
i thank the creator for sharing this valuable information. for helping me to ween off the poisonous drip and suffocating
hold of the youtube algorithm. for pointing me twards talented current artists and fruitful communities. thank you sir,
you've done awesome.
ive missed good radio. i used to really enjoy it as a kid. when Adel, Bruno mars and Taylor swift
were on the 97.5FM pop station.
we'd enjoy it driving around in the car or just in the house. i specifically remember mom would put it on whenever we'd do
the weekend 'sweep mop and dust' and it was such a good time.
when the radio was on it added a tint of color over the world
and we all felt it together.
but since then the radio, like all forms of main stream media, has turned into a barrage of shit. so i just turned it off and
accepted that i had lost that bit of color in my life.
honestly reflecting on it now i realize how devastating this is. the degradation of our communal music.
like its a well understood thing that frequencies affect us alot emotionally. so by pumping trite and contrived music, created under dubious
exploititive intent, we are poising the air waves with frequencies that inspire shitty feelings. essentially poising the
communal water of our shared frequencies.
like yall know how valuable sharing frequencies is. like have yall ever been in the car with someone and a song came on and yall
are both like damn we felt that. or maybe in a movie theater, you could feel how a great score on a great scene can bring a palpable
energy into the room.
music is POWERFUL yall. for good or for worse. it can make us upbeat and chipper or grey mentally hollowed zombies.
intentionally or not it is being used against us. degrading our daily experience, disconnecting us from one another, making
it easier to control us.
the defence against this would be to deny what they're tryna feed us and to get our own. to share amongst ourselves via radio,
live music, discussions and whatnot. to give ourselves solid alternatives.
yea i'll go that way. this matters.
Sat/Aug/16/2025
Dev-log: my plan to world domination
howdy.
i hope yall like the new audio player i just threw up. it took me alittle over 2 days to figure out.
mainly because i had to learn alot of new things.
its interesting to me how hard css can be. it seems so
simple at first but it can really turn into a brain fuck. id do good to study the fundamentals of how css
actually works. so i could effectively communicate what i want to do and not have to fumble around and waste
my energy.
but yea. i wanted to translate and transition the little info flag to make it swaggerous but i couldnt figure
it out. i had to move on, there are more pressing things. i'll take care of it later.
id like to make this site more social and add user interaction. comments, guestbook, idk polls or questionnaires.
i like to hear what other people think.
once i check all that stuff off my to-do list that would be my second phase complete. which is to
have a fully interactive fully flushed out blog site. where i can share things and get feedback.
after that would be the third phase. make the site more of a place to be. id have nice places for people
to enjoy, to get value from. like a magazine almost.
a big inspiration for me is the Tetragrammaton site. i enjoy watching the channels. and the integration
of all the different types of media is interesting. i think i could make it work if i had more relevant and engaging media.
thats one hell of a project though.
Wen/Aug/13/2025
I will never drink beer again
it's fine i'll just be bored and sober.
im so tired of being miserable and pissed off.
i swear im not asswhole its just im surrounded by shitty people. naturally they bring out the worst in me.
its pretty ridiculous the aversion and paranoia i’ve developed towards people. just because that's the only way
i can protect myself in my own home.
it really hurts because it makes it near impossible to reach out or find other people who won’t hurt me.
i’ve been trying to make a safe space for myself for the longest. a place where i can be creative and productively work
and hangout w/ my friends. we havent had a spot in the longest.
dude fuck climate change.
when i was a kid you could play basketball for hours at a time with in a full zip-up hoodie during the summer,
now you cant even sit outside. its ridiculous.
like texas is literally flordia now. we cant hang outside anymore i hate it.
outside is the best and they’ve gone and fucked it up cuz fucking 'money' man.
im not saying we should get rid of money but
it has totally perverted our sense of value. like there’s other forms of value.
but i guess if the powers that be degrade any other form of value it makes their currency all the more powerful. also just
cuz someone has power dont mean theyr smart. from what i understand the person willing to hurt others and themselves gets
the 'power'. ya know phyco dominating types.
julius ceasar and the roman empire couldnt conquer the blue sky.
yea im an angry little autistic thing.
yea.
im gonna try to set up a store on here. i got some cool product in storage. maybe some one might want some. idk maybe. gotta try.
i just need like $20 so i can buy a pre-sharpened card scraper. so i can finnish that backroom up and move in. yea ill get on that.
Mon/Aug/11/2025
Project Log: Pegasus
bike:
turns out i installed the chain onto the deraillure wrong.
I reinstalled it correctly, tuned it up, and now the bike runs perfectly.
it feels so good to fly down the street.
ive named the bike Pegasus. beacause he reminds me of a big white horse.
he takes me where i please
and hes made outta dreams
Fri/Aug/8/2025
Project Log
bike:
I got the new deraillure in yesterday. I installed it on the bike this morning. Fits fine and functions fine
but the chain is just a few links short. Fuck.
I was really hoping I could fix it and start riding. But no I need a new bike chain.
When I was out walking yesterday I saw a bike parked behind the plaza. I left it alone cuz it probably belonged
to somebody. I told myself if it was still there next time I came around I could use it for parts.
But it wasnt there when I went looking this morning. so I guess that means no free chain.
Im gonna have to buy a chain. Fuck.
Fern:
On the walk back home I found a beautiful fern growing in a crack in the road.
I ripped off a stem and took it home. Then I put it in a pot of dirt with some rocks at the bottom. For drainage idk.
I'll watch it for 3 weeks to see if ittle grow.
Im pretty sure it wont.
From what I read on the internet ferns are mostly propagated from their roots. Only the ferns with seeds or spores
/buds on their leaves can propagate from a stem.
I cant access the roots of the mother plant, they're under asphalt.
This isnt an experiment really. This is more a simple exersize in attention. Id like to have house plants and
the basis of that is having attention for them.
This might be a stupid exersize. I should probably get some chia seeds.
bike: